Discussing Finances in a Relationship

Discussing Finances in a Relationship

If you are in a serious relationship with someone, you need to discuss your finances. While this may admittedly not be the most romantic topic out there, it is one that is vital to your success together. After all, if you decide to share a life and responsibilities together, their financial decisions will undoubtedly affect you too. 

In fact, money is widely reported to be one of the most common reasons couples fight, and even split up. So, it's best to lay your cards on the table, and have an open discussion with each other regarding this as soon as possible.

Here are some of the main questions you should probably ask each other:

(Note that each question will probably lead to a longer discussion - for example, the reasons behind their actions or attitudes to money. If you both disagree about something, it's important to dissect the reasons why, and come to an understanding on the issue.)

1. Who will pay for the wedding?

2. Do you have any loans or credit facilities?

3. Do you have any credit history issues? 

4. Will we live separately, or with family? 

5. Who will pay for our rent and daily expenses? Will we both contribute? How will we share the responsibilities? 

6. Will we have a joint account or separate bank accounts? If separate, do you think you should share your PIN number with each other, or should we remain financially independent from each other to an extent?

7. What should our monthly budget be?

8. Will we discuss big purchases with each other?

9. When we buy non-essentials, who will pay? 

10. Will we plan our kids so that we can have them when we are financially ready? 

11. When we have kids (if), do we have anyone who can look after them? If not, will we hire someone, or will one of us quit work and become a stay-at-home parent? 

12. Will we buy a house? How will we save up for it?

13. When our parents get old, how will we support them?

14. If we have any other dependents, how will we support them? 

15. How can we handle disagreements when it comes to sensitive topics (like money) best?

Remember that at the end of the day, you are both on the same team. You are working together to figure things out. Try to approach this topic with openness and understanding, and know that this is an ongoing conversation that you need to have, so that you can work to reach your financial goals together.